Tuesday 13 August 2013

Walls


I build walls. A lot. I have a hard time letting people in, especially when I'm hurting. A few weeks ago, I dislocated my shoulder. It hurt so bad; I can't really think of words to describe it. I've never been one to cry when I get injured, but I was screaming in pain. My parents tried to help me, but I didn't let them. I didn't want anyone to touch me. I curled up into a ball of pain, shutting out anyone who just wanted to ease the hurt.

When we are in that much pain, we are responding instinctively. Our brain is responding based on the behaviors we've drilled into it. The brain is an amazing part of our body. Neuroscientists have discovered that the brain can actually repair itself from things like depression, dementia, and head traumas when it's fed with the positive thoughts and behaviors.

 Walls limit that healing and growth. People want to care. Not everyone is out to hurt us. Yes, people are going to disappoint us. Likely the people that are closest to us are going to inflict the biggest wounds. But when that hurt comes, we'll have others to rely on because we've allowed ourselves to form more relationships. Inside those walls, you're alone with the hurt, and that's just going to magnify the pain.

 Sometimes fear of ourselves keeps us trapped in those walls. What if I venture out of my walls and my many flaws mess things up? I really, really struggle with this. I hate screwing up, and I have a hard time moving past my failures, sometimes to the point that I'll quit something and never try it again because I messed up.

But what if I stay trapped in those walls forever?

What kind of things will I miss out on because I won't let other people help me? How much of my purpose can I honestly accomplish from behind a wall? Will I really live up to my potential? Could staying behind a wall result in possibly my biggest failure?

Tearing down walls is hard. Honestly, I'm writing this because this is something I need to do. Walls are built over time, one choice at a time. I think that walls can also be destroyed, one choice at a time. I just have to start making those choices.

Once the people who care about you start to see those walls coming down, I'll bet that they'll start to help you in the demolition. That's what happens when those walls start to come down.

I also know there's Someone who is a master at destroying walls and building love.

I'm taking the challenge. I'm going to make one decision that might knock a little crack in my walls. What about you?

Love,
Jyllenna

 It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down.                                                                                                              Hebrews 11:30

 

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